Commercials on the radio.

Commercials on the radio make me feel very, very stupid. I do not like them. I do not like how they make me feel, as a person… as a person part of something larger than just my own person… No, I do not like commercials on the radio.

Firefly

I finished watching Firefly this weekend and I have to say, I LOVE IT!

I can’t believe this show was cancelled!! How can so many lame reality shows still be on the air, and this show doesn’t even make it one complete season? It’s ludicrous!! There are so many great qualities about the show, from the storylines to the characters to the settings…

So, if you haven’t already watched the DVD of the series, do yourself a favor and rent it, buy it, check it out from your local library, do something, but definitely watch the show… Then, on September 30 head on down to your local movie theater and watch the movie!

The film (from what I understand) basically picks up where the show left off… and, if the movie does well in the theaters, there’s a good chance the series will be picked up again!! This must happen… There are so many interesting elements to the show, and so many questions that need answering… Justice must be served!

The problem with me.

No answers here… just more questions: Where’s my good night’s sleep? Where’s my peace of mind? Where’s the me that isn’t just a shell? Where’s my future? Where am I? So many more questions, and I’ve just lost the energy to ask them.

Yes, no answers here.

Actual vs. Potential: The 2005 Chicago Cubs

This season is done… There is no chance for the Cubs to make it to the post season. It’s been a fact for quite some time, but I guess it’s finally time to embrace it and look towards next season and the hope that it holds.

What hope though? This season has been riddled with rookie mistakes, and little league inconsistencies. The talent certainly is there, but something is missing (again) that keeps this team from becoming everything it potentially can be. But what is potential, and does it have any sort of meaning when placed against the actual? Which wins? Time and space is telling me that potentiality is nothing when compared to what actually is, and with each passing day, and each passing change of the win/loss record, I’m forced to believe that potential may as well be tossed with yesterdays garbage.

But is that the right thing to do with potential? Will what is potential eventually become actual? Is there such a vast difference between the two? Are the Cubs on the verge of becoming that which actuality has kept them from? The law of averages says so, I guess, but in the dire reality that is now, it’s hard to believe that anything can change, and the big question must be, “Do we really want change?”.

Do we want change?

As a Cub fan of 20+ years, I must say that I’m more accustomed to losing. I feel more relaxed, and expectations are low, so any win is looked upon as a blessing, something to be revered. But, who really want to lose forever? No one, of course, so maybe I want the winning more. Maybe I want the frustration of dealing with the hard loss and the playoff race, and every game meaning something more than another statistic. Maybe the potentiality of actually making it to the playoffs, and making it to the World Series is something that can have some sort metaphoric value in Cubs fans everywhere. Perhaps we are waiting, while we bleed our Cubbie red and blue, for some sign from the Gods above to let us know that we can be whatever it is we want to be, whatever it is our potential tells us we can be, and even whatever it is our actuality tells us we can be… We are just what we are, and the history books and the number crunching and the ratios all mean only what they are, and outside of that meaning, they hold nothing to the candle of the heart, the love, and the potential of everything we are.

“On the levels of the infinite and the absolute the moment of the present contains all of the past as well as all of the future.”

“On the absolute and eternal level, potential reality is just as meaningful as actual reality. Only on the finite level and to time-bound creatures does there appear to be such a vast difference.”

I’m looking to transcend this time-bound status, and mingle with the infinite and the absolute.

There’s more to life than this.

Oh, and for the record, Aramis Ramirez should take the rest of the season off and really concentrate on some conditioning… Let’s get that guy healthy and ready for 2006. I love ARam and feel there’s no need to risk anything with him at this point. He has a long and brilliant career ahead of him, let’s not cheat him out of any more of it.

Play the piano…

I’m going to see Dick Hyman perform on Sunday, September 11, 2005, in a solo recital at The Palladium Theater in St. Petersburg. Quite a treat. The man is a legend on the piano, and can play anything on it, in any style.

I regret not learning how to play the piano, maybe it’s not too late, but somehow I think it is. My favorite piano man would have to be Vince Guaraldi, such a shame he had to pass away so young…

Another consideration.

Please help the victims of Hurricane Katrina.
Donate to the Baton Rouge Area Foundation. Thank you.

Shut it off.

Sometimes it feels like I just don’t belong in this world… and that’s more upsetting to me than anyone knows.

Sushi and Tea

Tonight I’m going to eat some sushi (veggie rolls only, please) and drink some tea (green tea only, please).

Sometimes there’s really nothing else to say.

Speaking of being sick…

When I was a baby in 1973, I had some problems that seemed rather rare at the time (I guess)… I’ve been told I was a test patient, and most of the doctoring was done at no charge to my parents (good for them I guess)… Years ago I started questioning what my problem was, since I was never really told much other than I wasn’t expected to live past 3 years. My questions were brought about by the first person I had the pleasure to know from birth to 3 years (my nephew)… As I got to know him, and see his personality form (however that might be), I started to think the morbid thought of him not being expected to live past 3 (which was not his case, I was just putting myself in my family’s shoes for a moment). It must have been hard to raise this person (me) and all the while think that in 3 years time I’d likely not be around…

Well, thankfully for me (and maybe my family), it was determined that I had Transient Hypogammaglobulinemia of Infancy, which is something I would eventually outgrow (hence the word “transient”)… I guess I was sick quite a bit during those 3 years, and complications were plentiful. I can’t remember any of it though.

It wasn’t until 8 years later that I was in the hosptial with Viral Meningitis… that was a lot of fun. I’m sure there are lots of stories I could relate about being 8 years old and in the hospital for a week… I did recieve a card from my elementary school class, and I remember waking up one night with nurses changing the sheets on my bed because the IV somehow came out of my arm while I was sleeping…

A year or so after being released from the hosptial, I was talking with a friend of mine about what happened, and I said something about meningitis possibly causing some form of mental retardation or possible hearing loss, and a girl not far away said something along the lines of, “So, that’s what happened to you?”, alluding to the fact that I’ve always been considered “weird” by the “norms”… Yes, that is what happened to me…

The thing I remember most from that experience was the pain associated with getting a spinal tap. I remember a rather large female nurse, and 3 or 4 other people around me (the large female nurse stands out the most, something about her fat arms and her nurse outfit), trying to hold me completely still… Talk about a scary time… I didn’t know what was going on, and I was feeling terrible, and the next thing I know I have all these people surrounding me, and my parents had been taken across the hospital (I was later told they were moved so they wouldn’t hear my screams). Well, I screamed, and my parents heard it, and I managed to move enough to where they messed up one of the spinal taps and had to do 3 instead of 2… Ugh.

I hope I never need another spinal tap.

Top 100 Songs of 1973

Does music from the year I was born say anything about me? I’m inclined to say no. Perhaps music from 5 years later might say something more? I suppose the year I was born, I was too busy being sick and not understanding much about what was going on around me for music to make much of a difference.

Now, I’m not a very political fella…

… but it seems to me something is amiss here…

from: Salon.com.

We assumed, as we were writing earlier today, that Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert would be in Washington as the House took up George W. Bush’s request for $10.5 billion in emergency relief funding for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

We were wrong. Hastert, who questioned earlier this week whether it would “make sense” for the federal government to spend money rebuilding New Orleans, was back in his home district today, where he announced that the federal government is going to provide $1.84 million to build a road extension in the village of Annawan, Ill. “Illinois,” he said, “is finally getting their fair share.”

Hmmm, indeed.

IN.

IN. A term obsolete in Science if used with reference to Spirit, or Deity.

Conservatively Tardy

Religion, when reduced to terms of reason and intellectual expression, has always dared to criticize civilization and evolutionary progress as judged by its own standards of ethical culture and moral progress.

While personal religion precedes the evolution of human morals, it is regretfully recorded that institutional religion has invariably lagged behind the slowly changing mores of the human races. Organized religion has proved to be conservatively tardy. The prophets have usually led the people in religious development; the theologians have usually held them back. Religion, being a matter of inner or personal experience, can never develop very far in advance of the intellectual evolution of the races.

Only what you make it…

from: Yahoo! News.

SACRAMENTO, California (Reuters) – California lawmakers approved a law on Wednesday that would allow cities to mandate sterilization of potentially dangerous dog breeds such as pit bulls.

The measure follows the death in June of a 12-year-old San Francisco boy mauled by his family’s pet pit bull as well as other recent incidents that attracted wide media attention. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom asked for state legislation to allow greater city control over the animals. “We wanted to institute a mandatory spay and neutering program; however, there was a law in Sacramento pushed by advocates at some time in the past that said you cannot pass breed-specific laws,” said Newsom spokesman Peter Ragone. “So we had to ask for a change in state legislation.”

“People in California are going to be safer because this legislation passed, no doubt about it.”

Ridiculous. If people wouldn’t treat these animals as weapons and extensions of their masculinity, and instead treat them with the love they deserve, I don’t think we would see such tragic instances happen.

When all else fails, blame the pit bull… maybe we should take a look at the owners for once.

Apple.

Riding my bicycle around town.

So, I’m going to be riding my bicycle… I’m going to ride it around town… I’m going to bring my camera… I’m going to bring my camera around town… I might take a photograph of something… around town. If I happen to fall off my bicycle, there is a good chance I could hurt myself or my camera… all of this would be quite upsetting. There are sidewalks around town, and I will stick to them when possible… if a sidewalk isn’t available, I will take the best course of action to keep me and my camera safe from harm.

I’m looking forward to riding my bicycle around town.